


You, Me, It's How It Should Be!

by Hexworthy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, OK TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, References to Depression, Selkie AU, Suicidal Thoughts, especially chap. 2, how did i manage an entire chapter of fluff and no angst?, more tags to be added later, mythology AU, no actual suicide, seriously there is this warning for a reason, shangst, the usual
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-03-10 08:25:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13498276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: Shiro is stuck, he's back in the same town he first lived in after moving from Japan and everything is bleak. Then there's this seal that won't stop bugging him in the evenings and someone who seems to know him better than he does.Lance just wanted to help his childhood friend, he and Shiro didn't ask to be involved in a plot to keep their way of life.Edit- was previously called Never Letting Go





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well um? Surprise! 
> 
> Defo not the fic I had intended to write but here it is anyway. Life had been iffy and this is what I wrote instead. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it!!!

It was the first time Shiro had been back on a beach since he was younger, he could feel the stares as he took his prosthetic arm off to save it from the sand. It always happened and though he had learnt to live with it, it still made him uncomfortable, like he wasn't able to enjoy the beaches because he didn't have the whole perfect body image. He placed in its bag and tried to sit on the rocks on the outskirts of the beach. It was quieter and he could enjoy the horizon and the winds that rushed past his face and through his hair. The waves lapped gently against the rocks, helped along by the wind. It was funny how often the wind and water intermixed. The waves, the storms and water spouts, they could either be the most beautiful sight in the world or the deadliest.

When he had arrived at the beach, it was mid afternoon and the tide was as high as it would go, and now, the sun was setting and he moved closer to where the water was trying to stay on the beach. The water felt cool and lush on his skin and didn't care when people left and the animals moved back in. Soon, calls of birds and other marine life made the beach come alive and he started out to where ocean met sky and watched the colours mix from reds and pinks to purples to deepest black where dots of light lit up the sky. 

What he hadn't noticed was an incredibly curious seal come and lump its way over to him, Or how it was doing everything in its power to get attention from Shiro. Only when did the seal plonk its head on Shiro’s lap and softly whine - which sounded less like a whine and more of a nasally moaning and screaming - that Shiro even noticed he was still enough for the little beastie to get close. It probably was a yearling with no sense of self preservation.

“Off you go, shooo,” Shiro muttered, waving his hand at the animal and trying to move away. That did little and this time the seal moved towards him and even further on his lap, looking up expectant and playful. Well shit, he thought to himself, it’s probably has learnt humans give it food and he wasn't going to give it any even if he had. 

He tried to ignore the weight on his lap and looked around. There was no one left on his area of the beach and all the other seals were on the rocks further away. He was confused and was starting to question whether or not he was still sane. Yet again he rolled out from underneath the seal and moved away and onto the beach away from the rocks. The seal just followed faithfully making small chuffs and what sounded to be an exasperated sigh, Shiro just wanted to be alone however and a seal would not make good company. There was worse company he guessed but a seal wasn't going to solve all his problems.

Not the fact that he had rent to pay, a job he hated, and so many bills that just never ended. Sometimes the depths of the sea looked more inviting than his own bed, but he just kept plodding along, just keeping his head above water while everything else threatened to drown him. Now he was further from the rocks he plonked himself down. The seal had followed him. Oh great. Now it's bending back to try to touch his flippers? Shiro was done for the day. He slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way up the cliff side to the small house at the top of the eroding rock face. Soon his house would be in the sea, smashed to smithereens and he probably wouldn't care either. 

As he walked up the beach he could hear seal calls and a very distinct sad and very final call from the one who had followed him. The walk up was desolate and quiet compared to the beach, and at least he was somewhat removed from people. Before he lost his arm he was full of life and the heart of the community he found for himself, but after he had receded into himself and found more company in himself than with others. He probably was probably turning more into a hermit than his brother Keith had been. While Shiro had been in a damn coma undeclared, Keith had hid out in the damn desert trying to get by once alone once more.

Somehow he had made it to the one storey house and unlocked the door. Dinner was a sombre affair and there wasn't much he could really do. Keith was out studying god knew what crazy thing, and Matt was still working on the space programme and he was just there. Just existing. The seal had been the first meaningful contact he had had in months, even if it was a bit one sided on the seals part. 

But the seal had just wanted fish, Shiro wanted human contact, to be wanted and to be loved, to be touched even as simply as a hug that lasted longer than a welcome. He wasn't getting anywhere with these thoughts, he turned on the radio, letting the shipping forecasts fill the empty space, trying to will himself to sleep on the bed that felt way too big for him alone. 

The week passed as it normally did; boring and full of unnecessary drama that just Shiro feel lower, despite the antidepressant and therapy he had. It was like he didnt have anyone he could talk to about anything and everything, all his friends were away and slightly out of reach. So he did what he could, and went back to his spot on the rocks, trying to find some inner peace bullshit as he tried to numb himself so he could get by again. 

As he drew near the rocks, there was a loud chuffing and the very loud slaps of something heavy coming straight for him. The seal was still there, moving away from its colony towards Shiro, who couldn't be bothered to shoo it away this time. He sat on his rock and looked out and felt the weight of the creatures head land on his lap, looking oddly serene and rather pleased for itself. Shiro just accepted it and went on staring out trying to remember what it felt like to really be alive, he felt like he should be more concerned that this seal wanted to be around him more but he just couldnt. He was in the town he had grown up in when his family had moved from Japan when he was three. It seemed like he kept being pulled back there no matter how far he tried to go away.

“Don't give me that look, I don't have any food.” The seal rolled its eyes? Was the seal communicating with him? Wow he really must be lonely if he was talking to a damned seal. He voiced that to the seal too, “I mean how hard is it to make and keep friends like? They either use you for your kindness or you don't want to be a burden on them, I just can't win and I know most of it is me just making a bigger deal than it is,” he ranted, not caring if he was ranting to a seal that just would not leave him alone. It felt good to say everything he had yelled at some imaginary person in his head, who was the seal going to tell anyway?

By the time he had finished, he had told near enough his entire life story from the last two years, the crippling loneliness and how his brain just wouldn't let him be happy. Was it possible for a seal to look heartbroken? Because it was and it hurt, foolishly he offered out his hand for the seal to sniff and to his surprise hit nudged its head against his hand repeatedly. For some reason, he could not remember why, it felt familiar. The way one would get deja vu from a dream from a long time ago. 

“I have to go, otherwise it will be too dangerous for me. I’ll be back tomorrow, ok?” He wasn't expecting a reply but when he got up, the seal followed and Shiro couldnt no longer think of them as an it. He looked at the seal for a bit, making out distinguishing features and saw that it was fairly large and had male characteristics. The seal followed Shiro for as long as he could go before he returned to the colony. On the way home he stopped off at a small shop and got himself something to eat, and made his way up the long path to the house on the cliff. 

Though to his surprise, on the way up, he found someone walking the path a bit ahead of him, with something draped over their body. He ran up and gently placed a hand on their shoulder.

“Hey, you lost there’s a storm brewing.”

“Um? Kinda I guess, I was looking for someone, but I couldnt find them I should probably get going. How do I get back?” The stranger asked, and yet Shiro felt drawn to him for some odd reason and there really was a storm brewing, the winds were strong and carrying heavy rain clouds inland. 

“Just stay with me for the night at least, my house is closer than the town and you’d be safer at least,” Then it dawned on him, all the stranger had was the cloak.

“Do you mind?” The stranger asked and when Shiro shook his head and opened and arm to help keep the wind off the man, he sort of snuggled close. Snuggled, Shiro thought to himself. He was so touch starved and lonely even someone being close felt too personal and impersonal all at once. 

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the house and Shiro went to rumage for some of Keith’s old clothes that he kept spare at Shiro’s. Keith was still in a jungle and would be for at least a month more and wouldn't miss it for a day. He found an old baseball tee and jeans as well as the thickest pair of socks that were not dumped outside the washing machine. 

“Here’s some clothes for you so you don't get cold. I’m Shiro, what's your name?”

“Lance, Lance Ramirez, and thanks.” He took the clothes from Shiro and Shiro moved to the kitchen area to give Lance privacy to change. When Lance made a noise signaling he was decent, he found the cloak was nowhere to be seen. He assumed that Lance had put it down out of sight. 

“You want food? I can make some soup?”

Lance smiled. Oh god he smiled. It brought back memories of the beach as a kid and it was like the sun rising and setting at once, all the stars in the sky shining at full brightness contained in one person. I must really be lonely if I thought all that soppiness he thought, but responded with his own smile. Than it faltered as he realised he had made a mistake in his kindness. His sofa was way too small to sleep on and uncomfy unless it was for an hours nap, and there was no place else except the bes. _His_ bed. Well fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. This wasn't going to end well. 

“Um, I may have forgot to say when I offered, but I don't want you to suffer the sofa, so you can take the bed…” His voice trailed off, intensifying the awkwardness he had created.

“Why don't we share?” Lance replied and it honestly took him back, he was so damn starved of touch and people that he was afraid of what he might do or wake up to. 

“Sure, why not?” Damn his voice and heart had betrayed his brain. THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA it screamed at him, but did he listen? Nope. he was as helpful as a lead balloon at a kids party, lead poisoning included.

As he made the soup his brain was screaming at him, yelling at him for making a stupid mistake, allowing someone to get close to him, but he craved it so much that he hoped Lance wouldn't mind he if they woke up with Shiro being a koala against him. They ate in relative peace and Lance kept asking questions about him. How he came to make great soup or how he had chosen the art he had around the place. If he had any pets or if he knew any cool games. Not once was the question raised about his arm or why he was living alone so far away from civilisation in a house that could literally plumet and leave him homeless. 

The night flowed as Shiro taught Lance how to play gloom, laughing along when Lance came up with outrageous stories for his family members and their grizzly deaths. But he couldn't help but marvel at Lance, how he lit up the house by being there, and just how relaxed he felt. Something moved inside him and he realised what this was. A crush. A damn romantic crush. He was that lonely that this was all it was. He had to get rid of it and somehow, sharing a bed with Lance would not be the way to do it. 

Shiro took off his arm and prepared for bed, throwing some of Keith's old pjs at Lance. He got ready for bed and placed himself on the furthest edge away from Lance. Lance was a guest and didn't need him in his life beyond this. He felt the mattress sink as Lance climbed in after him, snuggling close but not touching. He felt Lance stare at him and turned over to face the man he had just let into his house,and he saw his eyes. Blue and as stormy as the sea and focuses on him, full of something. He gave a small fake smile that meant nothing but everything at once and sighed and closed his eyes, facing away from Lance.

 

Lance was confused, didn't Shiro remember him? The days they played on the beach, running in the surf, how he promised he would show Shiro a whole new world, promised a piece of himself to keep forever. He had known then that he could trust Shiro, and he had come back as he promised when he was forced to leave with his family.

 _Lance tried to head his mothers warnings, but he really liked his human form. He was proud that he looked like the people from the place he was born in and where his family lived in the winter when they used to migrate. He loved that he was Cuban but at the tender old age of four, he had met a boy who had seemed as out of place as he did on a crowded beach. He strode out to meet the boy and offered his hand_

_”Hi I'm Lance!” He said as cheerfully as he ever could be and he swore he could hear his mother groaning in the distance. The other boy seemed wary ofhim but bowed slightly then took his hand, thinking differently of his first gesture._

_“Takashi Shirogane.” He seemed quiet and barley spoke as Lance rambled on, calling him his new friend._

_“I'm gonna call you Shiro! You know all friends have nicknames for each other! Will you be my friend?” Shiro's eyes had lit up at the word friend, and smiled at the words._

_From then on the pair had been inseparable, when Shoro wasn't at school he was down on the beach playing with Shiro, who had just moved from Japan and spoke some English. To which Lance had insisted on Shiro being taught by him. They had followed each other round, exchanging gifts of shells and little bits of nature from the woods. They played in the surf and Lance taught Shiro to swim while in return Lance was taught how to read and write when Shiro brought books for them to enjoy._

_It all changed which Shiro had to move at the age of eight. Tears had been shed in the lead up and neither of them wanted to never see each other again. They snuck away from the main area over to the tide pools Lance liked to sunbathe in when his family got a tad too much._

_“I don't want you to go,” whispered Lance as their hands lay over each other as they looked up into the sky, the stars becoming visible in the lilac sky._

_“I don't wanna go too, I'll miss you too much.” Shiro replied in turn, trying to hide just how much he didn't want to go._

_“Promise me you’ll come back. Promise you won't forget me,” he pleaded more to the stars than to Shiro. “When you come back I'll give you everything.” And how he meant everything, there was no one he’d rather have what was essential the most precious thing to him. But now that was Shiro and he was sure that Shiro wouldn't abuse it._

_“I'll be back, I'll always come back for you, you just wait.” Then Shiro did what many people on the beaches had done, he pulled Lance into a hug. “I promise I'll come back,”_

_Shiro didn't come back the next day or the day after._

_A year and a bit passed and Shiro returned but he wasn't alone, smaller boy, two years younger walked behind him and though Shiro was calling out his name, he stayed on the tide pools and watched on. The two humans not really registering he was there as they walked along the sandy beach._

_Shiro returned once more, nine years later, with the other boy in tow, each holding a small urn. They sprinkled the contents into the water and watched as the tides receded. Shiro did not call out for him,even walking by in his human form, Shiro didn't recognise him. A quizzical look maybe but no recognition._

_He certainly didn't expect to see him a furthers eight years later, talking to him again, but in a way that found Lance’s heart breaking after he tried to get Shiro's attention the first time. If he failed as a human, he could at least try as a seal._

_Lance heard everything and decided to make sure Shiro wouldn't be alone for a while,he found the same kind hearted man, even if he was beaten down by the life he had walked. He heard his mother yelling about how much of a bad idea this was, how he would be bound to the land by someone who barely gave two shits. He knew she meant well but damn, he realised what he had been wanting his whole life, and that was for Shiro to be back in it._

_He shrugged of his pelt and wore it as a cloak as he made his way up to the cliffs and lay in wait for Shiro to come by._

When Shiro was fully unconscious, Lance allowed himself to twine their little fingers together briefly muttering into the space between them.

“I could never have forgotten you. You seem to but that's ok, I just want to see you happy.” He relinquished his finger from Shiro's and moved to the other side of the bed, he wouldn't make Shiro uncomfortable like that. The only reason he suggested the bed share was because he didn't like the idea of Shiro being uncomfortable on the sofa.

He sighed as he remembered the dreams from when he was little, giving Shiro his pelt, not knowing the full implications as he did now. He thought if he did have to be stuck with anyone on land a any point, Takashi Shirogane wasn't the worst person at all. In fact, he couldn't have thought of a better person.


	2. I'm Just In a Rut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro falls down the rabbit hole, Lance comes to conclusions. Many conclusions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING HERE. THIS DEALS WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND VERY HEAVY DEPRESSION THROUGHOUT SO BEWARNED READING.
> 
> IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS PLEASE REACH OUT TO ANYONE, OR USE THE HOTLINES IN YOUR AREA.
> 
> i know how shit this all is and how it feels fighting to live through every second and thought, especially without help, please just reach out please.

Shiro felt the haze that followed sleep slowly lifting as the rain lashed against the window panes. He had slept ok considering he was sharing his bed with a stranger, and found that his arms were Lance free. He sighed and turned over, only to see Lances face mere inches from his own. Lance’s arm pulled at Shiro and realised he was the little spoon, no wonder he slept so well, he was comfy. His brain went into working overtime as he tried to escape from Lance’s grip. This was bad. He shouldn't have let this happen. He should have taken the sofa. The storm was bad to boot, which meant he couldn't let Lance leave and face the winds alone.

He walked over to the tiny kitchen and poured water into the kettle and left it tomboil as he busied himself finding ways to be busy. To ignore how it felt right to be embraced by Lance. The familiarity of it all, the familiarity of Lance in general too.

Too much had happened since he last lived here and he had elected to forget it, most of his memories were associated with his parents. Keith had come into his life and he loved him so much and it hurt knowing he was doing important photography work in rainforests. The distance meant he couldn't look after his little brother. There was Pidge, and she was good company but they were different and Matt had been the catalyst for their friendship. 

He found himself eating at the table when he heard Lance moving in his room. He resigned himself to what was to come, he had to get that romantic attraction sorted because it always lead to disaster. To failed relationships which ended up him being hurt and his heart more alone and untrusting. All he wanted was for someone to hold it tenderly and love him. Not even anything special just love.

Lance pulled out a chair, the wood scraping on wood started Shiro out of his stupor and was greeted with a lazy, still half asleep, smile. 

“Mornin, that is some bed hair you got there,” Lance commented nonchalantly, and by gods did Shiro blush. It was horribly domestic, something Shiro had denied himself because, deep down, he knew he didn't deserve it. 

“Um thanks I guess?” He replied tentatively, ruffling his hair with his hand, consciousness of the fact that he still hasn't put his prosthetic back on. He rarely wore it round the house and definitely not when he slept, he felt vulnerable and out of place, waiting for something to be said. But Lance didn't mention a thing, simply asking where the bowls and porridge oats were. 

“So what brings you to this neck of the woods?” Lance asked while stirring the porridge on the stove.

“I used to live near by when I was a kid but that house is rubble now. Fancy people houses were built on top of it, after we left cos of my parents work. They adopted my brother a bit later but they died and I worked jobs I hated and I dunno? Something called me back I guess, I didn't even know where I was going I just drove. 

“I don't remember much of my time here, I was young and when I lost my arm I also lost some of my memories. They said it was a car accident but there was no one in the roads and it was a clear night and then there was lightning and the silhouette of a person. I don't remember anything else really.” Why am I saying this? He questioned himself. Lance didn't need to know this! 

“Oh, you have a job here now then?” 

“Yeah, a shitty job but it's a job and pays the rent. It's working as a damn checkout operator. They just stand there and expect me to pack for them even if it's like three items? It's shit and I need out to be honest.”

Lance looked thoughtful as he replied. “I have a friend who is looking to hire people, she owns a bookshop, you think you can hack that?”

Shiro's heart skipped a beat and his definitely not romantic feelings flared in full, and he was pretty sure the smile he sent back must have shown something. 

“Yeah, that would be great, thank you Lance. May I ask where you work?”

“Course, Palepoi-Garrett Bakery, my friend Hunk and I work there, his mums own it,” Lance replied with a blissful smile. It sounded like he was happy there and with a guy who probably lived up to his name. Shiro didn't stand a chance in the first place and now it was totally out the question. He didn't know what he was going to do next, clearly Lance had someone in his life and wasn't planning on staying in the little house. 

“That sounds great. Um you can stay here till the rains go or whatever. Do what's best for you I guess.” Lance looked at him quizzically but didn't press, he just ate the porridge and listened to the falling rain. 

Nothing else was said and Shiro was able to banish the thoughts and feelings of Lance from his mind. Soon enough the rain stopped and curiously, Lance was hesitant about leaving. 

“Um, thanks for taking me in, I guess. Um it was really nice and you didn't have to and oh god I’m talking to much I've made this awkward, ok, um bye then.” Lance ran out the door taking the back pack he had brought with him. Shiro sighed and resigned himself back to the quiet of his house, he hoped Lance would find who he was looking for and started to get ready for his job.

“No ma’am, we cannot return this item, it was sold four years ago and is most definitely out of its one year warranty,” Shiro sighed as a middle aged woman tried to return a toaster that had clearly been in use for too many years. He wasn't paid enough for this, he had basically become the store’s jack of all trades. He really needed either a rise or to get out of there. He had a few more hours and customers sucked even more with every passing hour. The woman left in a huff claiming she’d have is job cut. The next few customers gave him sympathetic looks and were not too bad, then the cycle started all over again. 

He must have heard all the insults by now, many of them resorting to calling out his prosthetic too or the scars that existed on his face and skin. He just wanted the earth to swallow him whole so he could embrace the sweet silence of the void. Damn, his meds really weren't working again. He needed to try another one, this obviously wasn't working and he was still on the waiting lists for a damn psychological assessment. Another visit to the GP was needed. 

The rest of the shift passed in relative peace as customers decided to fuck off mercifully, and when his shift ended, he was greeted my a message from Keith.

Knife to meet you:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI&feature=youtu.be   
Knife to meet you: also LOOK AT THIS LIL CUTIE  
Knife to meet you: sent an image  
Knife to meet you: ALSO LOOK AT ALL THESE  
Knife to meet you: sent 10 images  
Knife to meet you: youre probably at work but i miss you guys but i’ll be home soon. gtg i need sleep  
Best Bro: glad you’re having fun, can’t wait for you to be back. Also thanks I needed that reminder 

He smiled whenever Keith was able to send him messages like that, they rarely had signal out there. Keith had grown so much and really come out of his shell when he got involved in his photography, getting to travel the world and never being alone for too long. The sun was setting as he walked smiling into his phone as he scrolled through the photos of Keith in the rainforest taking selfies with bugs and awesome animals in general. Apparently all beetles were now Jeff, and they were still trying to find the grandmaster Jeff the sock bandit. As you do, Shiro thought to himself. 

As if by clockwork, his feet took him to the beach and his prosthetic was placed in his bag, his butt found itself in his normal spot. 

Then there was that damned seal lumbering towards him, with what looked to be excitement on his face. He came to a halt skidding a bit and sand was thrown around, along with one petrified hermit crab who scuttled away for its life. He began to sniff Shiro and moved his way to Shiro’s face, who could smell all the fish on the seal, and the seal tried to nuzzle into Shiro’s face.

At this point, Shiro was resigned to his fate. He was to be mobbed by this seal to the end of his days and there was no way he could get rid of it bar harming it. But Shiro wasn’t cruel, life had been but he didn't want to be. He let it be and hoped it would get bored and get the hint to leave. He didn't and got comfy on Shiro’s lap. It was just his head but it had gotten comfy and Shiro was stuck. He gave up and felt the sunlight fall across his face as it set and the moonlight flood the beach. He couldn’t be sure but he definitely thought that the seal almost hummed in delight, if it was even possible. 

 

It wasn't as if Lance meant to spend as much time with his long lost friend, he had practically been in love with him since he was a kid. There was probably a bit of hero worship in the mix if he was honest, Hunk had told him to stop putting Shiro on a pedestal, to stop bothering them when their families were on the rocks basking. 

Being a selkie in modern times was different to how it used to be. They lived normal lives and had jobs, they had houses and jobs and an education. Lance had even been to the nearby uni and got his degree in astronomy. He was always looking up and wandering. Of course he would always be drawn back to the water, but he loved where he was in life. It was a shame about Pidge still being at uni and visiting when she wasn’t in labs. Her degree was a year longer but Hunk, Pidge and Lance were still inseparable. Hunk was a selkie too but from a different family and continent, so appeared as a different species of seal. 

All that mattered was that they were safe and happy. They didn't need to sacrifice their pelts anymore or have it stolen from them in the hopes of love. It was more symbolic at this point as rings could be exchanged instead, and no one ever did it anymore anyway. Though Lance was ever the romantic, it was a visible part of his heart, the sign of his unyielding trust. He wanted Shiro to have it, everything in his life seemed to keep coming back to a person he couldn't possibly hope to have truly. Him not having an arm wasn't the issue. It was Lance himself, who would want someone who is loud and overdramatic to cover all that was inside him, threatening to burst forth at any point. It was hard to be noticed when everyone was better than him. 

“Hey, what can we get you today?” He asked the customer that had walked in and ordered a small basket. 

“Hunk, why is it so dead today?” he whined, he hated slow days it just made him countdown the time till the beach even more. It wasn't as if the weather was bad either, it just was Dead. 

“Stop complaining and go knead that bread dough and plait them, you always do them best,” Hunk smiled at him and damn it was enough. He did love plaiting the dough as it was repetitive but relaxing and they always sold out fast. 

“So, what's made you smile so much?” Hunk asked as he moved flour round the bakery as if it was nothing, and it was the guy was ridiculously strong. “Is it a girl?”

“Hunk, just drop it ok?”

“Oh, its a guy then?”

“Hunk, please just dont.”

“It’s _him_ , isn't it?” There was only ever one _him_ , and silence was Lance’s only reply and it said everything.

“You shouldn't be going up to him then, it's only going to hurt you in the long term. Mates just don't exist anymore, and it never ends well. He forgot you Lance, I don't know if I can help a second time. Lance, we have to look after ourselves. You don't even know who you might meet.” 

Lance knew Hunk was trying to look out for him but something was kept niggling at the back of his mind and he couldn't quite place what. He placed the finished breads into the oven and left to take off into the sea, Hunk had it in the bakery and it was time for him.

“Hunk, you know this beach town has never been big enough for me. I love my family but I need more than this, See you later.”

Lance reached the sea and one in the water he wore his pelt. He didn't know why Shiro kept coming to the same spot every day, but he was determined to keep him company. If he got a kick out of it too then it would be worth it. Afterall, he was a very cute, very adorable seal. He had been trying to get Shiro's attention but to little success so now he just lay a few feet from him, not wanting to be up in his personal space. Maybe it would be better to just get over Shiro. 

So he didn't run to Shiro when he came to the rocks, he chased fish and booped a friendly shark that had risen from the deep. It hurt a little not going to him but it was for the best. He probably didnt even love Shiro and more the idea of him and being loved in return. He had lived without Shiro for this long and he was fine, so how hard would it be?

He didn't go anywhere near Shiro, human or not the next day. Or the day after. Or the week. Weeks turned into a month and Lance felt like he was moving on, he had put Shiro more or less out of his mind and though the month was long, he managed to hide everything under his bravado well but he felt he was missing something. That pull he had felt when he first saw Shiro was back at it again, he just waved it off. It was better for them both, even if it hurt Lance like hell seeing that the world had been cruel to Shiro and that he was left in a very dark place.

 

Shiro never expected to miss the seal; he still sat at the rocks, following the routines that got him through the day, but he missed that it was one of the few positives still had. Pidge had popped in before visiting friends from uni, and Keith had managed to send a few messages here and there. Though it hit home when he said that he would have to extend his trip by a week, they were very close to photographing a rare species. He was alone and now even the seal wouldn't go near him. 

Life isn't going easy on him. Everything was falling apart and wrecking any hope he had at happiness. The day he just had hadn't been any better. First he had been treated like shit by his manager, Zarkon whose wife wasn't any better. They ran the shop with an iron fist and did nothing to protect the colleagues and did shady stuff with their wages and breaks. But they had no heating on in the middle of winter at this point and his arm was stiff and ached where it connected to his skin. 

Then there was his co-worker Sendak kept saying derogatory terms at him, and to top it all of, the customer from hell had requested to speak to the manager after he asked if she wanted bags. Zarkon had yelled at him for half an hour in front of customers and he just snapped. He handed in his resignation at the end of his shift. The other customers behind him took pity and vowed to never return if the workers were treated that badly. 

So there he was, the cold wind whipped against his skin as he stood in a shirt at the edge of that cliff. He wanted to throw himself of so badly, to just end the paint that was his life currently. But he also wanted to live. To see Keith’s smile and hear his laugh again when he found some of the funnier photos. Or his teasing. He wanted to see Pidge again and make sure she was eating properly and sleeping. There was still things he wanted to see, to do. He wanted to _live._

He knew this was temporary, but that didn't stop part of his mind telling him to just fall. To just fall and feel the rush of air and know that all the pain in his life and the hate for himself just fade away. He lost track of the time, only registering the falling of raindrops. He didn't care when it turned into a storm. He had forgotten when he last felt like he cared about himself and so he just sat on the edge. 

 

Down below Lance was playing in the waves despite the storm. He was a strong swimmer as a seal and he could always dive or flop along the beach. It only just occurred to him that this is where Shiro’s house was. Out of curiosity he looked up through the lashing rain and saw a figure standing at the edge looking down. He would know that silhouette anywhere and swam for the shore. He stuffed his pelt in a small hole in the rocks and hid it with more rocks and ran to the cliff. 

He couldn't begin to explain the relief when he found Shiro sitting at the edge, but was immediately concerned about his exposure to hypothermia and his mental state. Lance knew he couldn't fix anything but he knew he couldn't leave Shiro alone again. Their fates seemed to be twined. And how he hated the fates, giving him someone he couldn't possibly have, someone who deserved so much better than what he had been given, including Lance himself. 

Lance somehow managed to haul Shiro to his feet and guided him into the house and put the kettle on, filling a mug with sugar to make sure Shiro would get some energy and heat in fast. He got a hoard of blankets and wrapped them around Shiro trying to warm up the water that clung to him so he wouldn't go into shock when he got into dry clothes. He dissolved the sugar in the water when the kettle had mostly boiled and added a bit of water so it was just cool enough to drink. He felt his heart racing as he held Shiro willing to give him as much body heat as shiro needed. He needed Shiro to be ok. He shouldn't have abandoned him. Maybe Shiro needed him more than he thought. 

Somewhere he felt that tug again. Gods and Goddesses curse him, mates didn't exist anymore, it wasn't the middle ages anymore when they were isolated or stolen from their colonies. He wasn't made for anybody, he fell in and out of love with who he wanted not because some deity had it planned. He wanted to love Shiro for who he was, and though he had fancied other men and women in Shiro’s absence he kept coming back to Shiro. So maybe there was a bit more than what met the eye; but he wanted to be Shiro's for his merits and as himself, not because of a stupid tug. 

Somewhere in his brooding, in the quite literal sense, Shiro’s core temperature had started to warm, but he was still unresponsive. He respectfully changed Shiro's tops and was able to guide him to change his trousers and pants, then moved shiro to the bed. Lance then dumped more dry blankets over him and left an energy bar on the bed side table. Lance was glad that shiro’s body temperature hadn't dropped dangerously but he would be taking him to the doctors for an emergency appointment. He stayed in Shiro’s room in the pitch black, ready to be there when Shiro woke up.

Gods, he thought to himself, what am I getting myself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS SAID PLEASE REACH OUT IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS, you dont deserve to be alone through all this. 
> 
> also i suffer from this so in one respect this was very easy to write and im just on so many waiting lists, going through meds that dont work and just going onto the next one. life is shit and every day is a fight at this point. 
> 
> enough of the doom and gloom, thank you for reading, every comment, kudo and read is appreciated but seriously they really are!!! <3 <3 <3


	3. Don't Give Up On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Lance have revelations and and make baby steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. life sucks but at least I have some good things coming up!!!! So Im working on multiple things so shrug emoji when updates happen at this point really.

Lance was still sat in the corner of the room, hunched over and refusing to fall asleep. Shiro didn't move nor did his breathing even out. They were too controlled, too aware, too forced. Lance had first hand knowledge of how that felt. He had his own fair share of panic attacks and sleepless nights wondering what if. He had been used for his kindness and his trust had been abused by too many - he wasn't gonna lie and say he wasn't jaded. He kept being a version of happy so no one would ever look too closely, even his best friend couldnt see through it most the time. 

Lance knew it was unhealthy to just ignore everything and that soon he would break but no one had to know right?

Hours passed as night turned to day and the storm outside quelled its rage for now. At some point Shiro had fallen asleep but Lance kept his constant vigil over him, hoping that some good would come from this.

Shiro jolted awake and was even more frozen than before and Lance was on high alert, then he heard the gentle sound of someone trying to stop tears from falling. The light snuffling of someone trying to compose themselves. How many mornings had Shiro woken up like this? Lance thought to himself.

“Shiro?” He asked gently as he stood up, his bones cracking as he did so. All he heard was whimpering. He had no idea if Shiro would welcome touch so he stood near the bed, whispering nonsense about his life, when he fucked up hilariously, or pranks his siblings and niblings had played on him.

“I know I’m not enough really, like definitely not anyone's first choice, but you helped me so, I’ll be here if you need me. I wanted to as well.” He hoped Shiro didn't here that last bit. He didn't need to bare his soul when Shiro clearly needed the help. He turned to go and had reached the door when he heard Shiro's voice for the first time that night. 

“Stay, please,” he sounded so pained, so alone and Lance knew that feeling too well. “I don't want to be alone again.”

“Ok, I’ll be here,” and went to sit in the corner again, despite his bones screaming in protest about the cold floor.

“Can you hold me?” His tone full of defeat and embarrassment but his instincts kicked in, reminding him to keep Shiro hydrated and to have energy. It also allowed him to not think about what Shiro had just asked. He didnt need that internal angst just now.

“I will, but shall we at least get some water in you and a bit of food?” His traitorous mouth let slip.

Shiro pulled himself up, but hunched over preferring to stare off into nothing. Lance sat next to him, moving the glass to Shiro’s mouth, getting him to drink something at least. Shiro nibbled on the bar he had left while he went to get more water. By the time he had come back, Shiro had laid back down. Lance remembered what he said, ‘hold me’. Goddesses above have mercy on me, I don't deserve this. It was all he had ever wanted, to be near Shiro but not like this, _never_ like this. He knew he was at a crossroads in his life and no matter what he did there would be no going back. 

 

Shiro knew he was in his home when he woke. Last night was fuzzy at best. He knew what he had just said to Lance as he nibbled the bits of cereal bar. He knew he probably had mild hypothermia after being outside like that but he just couldn't care. He didn't know why he asked Lance to hold him, maybe it was because he was so touch starved or that low burning crush that was stuck on a back burner, building up for its fiery escape. He knew he should at least try to care, he sensed that Lance had returned, he shuffled over a bit if Lance decided that was what he wanted. The last thing Shiro wanted was to force Lance to do anything he didn't want, especially as hr had bren so kind. He didbt deserve what ugliness Sgiro was loosing his grasp on.

He was ultimately surprised when the mattress sunk with extra weight and allowed himself to be turned onto his other side. He didn't know how to react as he was pulled close, close enough to smell the sea salt that clung to Lance’s hair. Or when a hand ran up and down his back in soothing motions. Or when he started to cry. He only expected minimal spooning, not being held close like somebody who mattered. It made the tears fall harder and faster as he convinced himself that it didn’t mean anything.

Shiro hated crying, he didn't really emote often. Books and films rarely pulled a tear and there was some music so beautiful that it made him cry. But it had been years since he could fully cry like this. Deep ugly sobs wrenched from the deepest parts of his own self loathing. 

All that happened was that the soothing motions didn't stop, there was no judgement and if anything, he was pulled closer. He didn't know when his left arm had caught Lance but he tried to hide himself in Lance. His other ‘arm’ or the part that was left after they amputated above his elbow just lay under his face and he cried into it.

He felt so exhausted he fell asleep like that, his head cradled in his arm and the other slung around Lance’s waist. In that wonderful state between being fully awake and the sweet release of sleep, he could have sworn his head was moved a bit and a hand was gently brushing his hair. Some weight across his lower back. A warm embrace of something sturdy and steady. 

This time around waking was more pleasant. He knew where he was and he felt more at peace, no longer was that sadness coursing through his blood. He opened his eyes and saw the blue fabric of a shirt, he felt a leg slung over his waist leading to his hips, and two arms holding him close; just as he was in that moment too. Shiro never wanted this moment to end, just that small moment of bliss.

“Have a good sleep there?” came the gentle voice of his companion. Shiro groaned and snuggled closer into Lance, this was dangerous territory but he knew he would have to face the music soon. He was going to savour this for as long as he could. 

“You feel like you can get up or anything?” Ok, Shiro was not expecting that, the kindness and softness. Not in the way one would talk to a cornered animal, but as if they were talking to a friend or lover in a moment of intense intimacy and vulnerability. 

“I think,” His voice felt croaky after his outburst earlier and damn he felt like he needed a shower. Just wash off the events of the last few days. Remember what it is like to feel again.

“That’s good,” Lance smiled, and oh how he smiled, “ If I rustle up something to eat, would you wanna scrub up a bit or something? Feel better after a change of clean clothes right? I’ll be right here if you need me, I’ll go if you want but if you want me here, I’ll stay.”

Shiro nodded and was confused. He knew he shouldn't let a near stranger into his house and let him stay, it wasnt what happened. Water cascaded down on him, the heat absorbing into his bones as he felt himself physically warm up. He felt like he knew Lance, something achingly familiar from a time long gone. Images of sandcastles and rock pools and a feeling of warmth. Echoes of memories reverberating in his mind, but too out of focus to see properly. 

There was that feeling at the back of his mind, that he could trust Lance, that he had known him once upon a dream. He had felt it when Lance had introduced himself and staye the night in the storm. But reality was there reminding him that that's all it would have been, a dream.

There was a knock on the door and a voice carried to him, 

“Hey Shiro? You’ve been in there for half an hour, you ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute….” His voice trailed off as he quickly scrubbed himself down and wrapped a towel around once the suds were off. It was a well developed skill at this point, as was much in his life when he didn't wear his prosthetic. He pulled on some pants he picked up on the way in and rummaged around for a pair of jeans and shirt. He had managed to find a sock but not the other. 

He started to laugh, because of course it would be a sock or something stupid. Lance came rushing in, concern and concfusing flowing across his face. 

“Shiro? You ok there mate?”

“Yeah, just my sock, of all things, it's my sock.” He burst into a fit of giggles and Lance just sat down next to him and pulled out the other sock from underneath Shiro’s butt.

“Looking for something?” 

“Yeah, thanks,” Shiro smiled and moved to lie his head on Lance, then he realised what he did and abruptly moved off of him. He knew this wasn't an invitation and his mental state wouldn't excuse anything.

“Um, I’ll go check the food,” Shiro said hastily as he pulled on his sock, and he still hadn't put his prosthetic on either though it felt good to not wear it for a while. He mixed himself a tea and kept an eye on the porridge as it started to come together. 

“Hey, I’m not opposed to touch, I have a big family so I’m used to it. It makes me feel wanted to I guess. It's easily to get lost in a big family.” Lance sounded ruefully and just a tad sad. 

“I.. It's just.. Ugh words, like it’s been a while and I’m still iffy. But, thank you. You didn't need to do all this for me. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yep, we go to the doctors, we get you an appointment and we start by getting help. You don't have to do this but admitting help is a good idea. I think you really want to live otherwise you wouldn't have just sat on the edge.”

“I do want to get better, I’m just stuck in a rut and now I have no job and just everything's gone to shit and my brother had extended his expedition and I really have no one now. Like I have friends but not many that can stick around for long cos they have their own lives and I don't wanna bother anyone just, you know? Hell even the seal that kept coming to me got the memo.” 

Shit, Shiro was rambling and he hated it and he felt the hatred writhe through his entire being, wanting to drag him down again.

“Shiro, breathe, deep and slow. And yeah I do. I’ve had many people use me. I keep doing things for people and it always bites me back. Like I just wanna be kind and happy, but I want my own feelings to be recognised right?”

“Yeah I feel that. I wonder why I feel like I can talk to you about this, I mean this is the second time I’ve met you. Probably just cos it's easier to talk to people outside the situation or some shit like that.”

Shiro then noticed the crestfallen face that Lance worse, “Lance? Did I say something?”

“No, just You really don't remember me do you? We were friends when you lived here, you were my best friend.” His voice trailed off, despondent and full of pain.

“So that's you in the photo then. A lot happened in my childhood and my grandparents ended up looking after me and my brother. Neither of us had it easy, but there were happy memories of the beach, something like coming home. There was this odd sense sometimes that I should have looked for someone. I remember someone, someone I think I loved.” Shiro did indeed remember someone. He just thought it was someone he constructed in his memories.

“Is it this one?” Lance asked as he got his wallet out and pulled out a small faded photo, taken just before Shiro left. There was him standing next to a kid that could only be Lance, both with shit eating grins plastered across their faces. 

Shiro looked at it dumbfounded and nodded, he occasionally could remember bit of his childhood, most of them on the beach or the school. 

“That person you were waiting for that night, It was me wasn't it?”

“Yeah, I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to go up and say ‘Hey Shiro! Remember me? Lests resume us being best friends.’ I wanted to get to know you again, because we both grew up. I didn't expect you to get so gorgeous though.”

Shock ran through both of them as they heard what Lance had said. 

“For what it's worth, you’re cute too.” Shiro said breaking the tension. 

They dissolved into giggles, collapsing and holding on to each other for support. 

“I’m gonna try to remember those times because they kept me going at times. Little vague glimpses when I felt really happy. I wanna do better, I wanna be better. I wa-” whatever Shiro was gonna say was cut off when the fire alarm went off. They looked over to the kitchen to see the saucepan on fire. 

“Shit.”

 

Breakfast could not be salvaged. They put out the fire easily enough but they struggled to get the torched block out of the saucepan. In the end they just threw it all in the bin.

“Lance?”

“Mmm?”

“Can we try the friendship again? Like it’s fine after all this you don't want to, but I’d like to try.”

“I’ll stand by your side till the ends of time, if you’d let me.” Lance said with all seriousness and he hoped that Shiro could see it. He had come to appreciate who Shiro was now and it didn't matter. Hell Shiro could have gotten a small tuft rather than the current floof and Lance could have sworn he would still love Shiro. Even if he could only be his in a platonic sense, he would follow Shiro to the ends of the earth. 

“I’d love that,” Shiro smiled, “Now let's go get a breakfast somewhere, I don't think I should be trusted near food right now.”

Lance agreed readily and made a move for their coats. He knew he would have to tell Shiro, he wanted this friendship to be built on honesty. He hoped he wouldn't go spouting out all this to the world, there was more than him at stake. 

“Shiro, if I were to show you something, something incredibly important, would you be able to keep it secret. Especially as it would affect many more people than just me.”

“I will, you have my word. You saw me and helped at some of my worst, and if there is one thing I can do its keep my mouth shut.”

It didn't take long for them to reach the beach, the rains and winds had stopped but the storm clouds had yet to move. They carefully made their way down the sea cliffs, Shiro taking extra care as he still didn't have his arm on.They came to a halt by the rocks, Lance moved the rocks that hid his pelt and pulled it out, dusting off a little crab that had sheltered from the winds - telling it to scram. 

“So. Yeah, please don't hate me.” He pulled off his shirt and jeans and stood in his underwear and pulled his pelt around him. One moment he was staring Shiro in the face, body tense and taut and the next, he was staring up at him, softly snorting and shifted towards him pleading with his eyes. 

He shrugged of the pelt and put his clothes back on. He was safe from prying eyes. 

“So have you always been able to do that? Like that is a very interesting thing? I have no idea how to approach this oh my god.” Shiro was babbling incoherently, and Lance was reminded of Flynn Rider, it was cute. 

“I'm a selkie. I can become a seal if I wear my pelt. The scottish gave us a better name than most people and it’s what people know us by now. But yeah, there's a lot of us, not just selkies, Banshee’s make good company when they are not playing pranks on humans. 

“There's magic in this world, most people would abuse it so we hide, we deal with our own but we don't seclude ourselves either. So that is me.”

He stood there waiting for whatever Shiro decided to do, he knew it was for the best, what was this some hyped up fanfic where there was miscommunications galore? 

“Ok, so that's a thing and my world no longer made sense but when did it anyway. For what it is, you are a very adorable seal.”

Lance smiled as realisation dawned on his face,

“That seal! It’s you! The same markings, oh my god you’ve heard everything. How are you still here?” exclaimed Shiro, Lance couldn't keep his laughter in as it rose in his chest.

“Don't laugh at me, I bared my soul to a damn seal, that turns out to be a long lost friend that is literally a selkie like gimme some credit for not freaking out even more!”

Lance sighed in relief and took a step closer to Shiro, then another, and another. “How about that breakfast now?” 

They headed up the wet beach and sat down in a small cafe, they ordered and sat in the corner. They didn't need to say much as lazy conversation flowed easily, talking about the small things. Lance found out Shiro’s favourite colour was actually grey while Lance’s were very specific shades of colours. Lance told embarrassing stories of himself and his siblings. 

When their food came, they had leaned in close to each other, each of them could feel their friendship fall back into place, despite the years apart. The revelation that Lance was the seal meant that a lot of the awkwardness was out of the way, even if it was unintentional. Everything was out in the open, well most of it. What had lead to last night's events was still unsaid. 

The waitress came over with their fry ups with a smile. 

“Here you go, hope you two love birds enjoy it!” She walked back over and started to gossip with her co-worker. 

“Ok, that was weird but ok, I don't know about you but I am hungry but now broke. Is that bookshop job still open?” Shiro knew he no longer had a job and damn he was not gonna go begging on his knees to do a job that was not well paid and to be treated like shit. 

“Yeah, my friend Coran runs it, he became a family friend in all honesty. You know like a crazy uncle that has all the best stories? Just don't let him near the kitchen. He can cook but it's usually something weird. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.”

“You’re talking like I already have a job, Lance, I might not even get it. I’ll find something though if it falls through.”

“Have a bit more faith, you interact well and damn if you survived that long under Zarkon, you’ll be perfect there. I may have also been bragging about you to him too! Like you know your patience, how nice you are your kindness and well, yeah, I'm gonna shut up before i say anything else…”

“Lance, you're amazing.” Shiro’s eyes must have been shining with the happiness that he felt. Turns out having that breakdown helped clear everything. He still felt like shit but having someone to help pick up the pieces help. He felt cared for and wanted, especially as Lance had heard everything, well, more or less everything. He had heard about Keith being adopted and finding his niche, the accident that took his parents and his arm. The aftermath of it all. The customers and their shit as well as management. 

Shiro liked how easy it was to slip back into a friendship, he was starting to remember small things, the way one would after meeting friends after a while. He missed having friends too, but he didn't want to be clingy. 

“I’ll make an appointment soon too. What they're doing isn't enough now. I need to keep chasing or just tell them to dump it and I’ll go private, I can't let this happen again.”

“If you want me there in the waiting room I will. I know we are getting started again but, I know I wanted someone by my side.”

Shiro heard that and wondered what the hell had happened to Lance. But he had a start. Somewhere to begin cos he really did want to live, he just couldn't do it alone anymore. He needed to get his own head right before anything else but a job was still necessary. If he focused on those two and took everything as it came, he could see the way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!!
> 
> every comment kudo and read is appreciated and loved 
> 
> I also crave that validation like a goat craves that mineral. The goat has the right idea tbh...


	4. No Pressing Stop, Erase, Rewind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro makes progress and fluff. Just all fluff. No angst. 
> 
> (I know. Me too)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SHIT WENT DOWN AGAIN. but im improving i think. Also wasnt near my laptop for a week as i was on holiday. And a fuck tonne to do at work. BUT 
> 
> HEX IS A FREE ELF!!! or at least was for today!!

Shiro walked out of the doctors surgery, relief filling him and he smiled at Lance, he had somehow managed to get an appointment for within the week and he felt like he was finally taking a step forwards again.

“That's good then?” Lance teased, giving him a signature cocky grin.

“Yeah, I didn't die of embarrassment,” Shiro said, amusement playing in his voice. 

“Always a good start then,” Lance replied, “Shall we go to that bookshop? I’m sure Coran would love to meet you.”

As they walked in the direction of the beach shops, thoughts and doubts started to play on his mind. Was Lance doing this because of who he thought Shiro was, a boy from over twenty years ago?

“You don't have to help me Lance, I can find something. I don't want to put you out like this. I means I’ve only been back here for just under a few months. I don't want you to feel obligated to help based on a friendship we once had…” his voice failed him and his own thoughts consumed him again, threatening to drag him back under.

“Shiro, I want to help. Not because of the person you once were but who you are now. I’ve seen how kind you are and caring and sweet. Also who says I’m not just helping you in this? Coran isn't exactly conventional himself and he and his niece do need the help in the shop.” Lance explained and koved a bit closer so Shiro could see the sincerity in his eyes.

Shiro relaxed almost instantly when he heard he want the only one benefitting from this. He trusted Lance once before everything changed. He trusted Lance when he looked for him and should trust him again. Nothing bad had come of it, he just had to let go and trust once in a while. 

“Ok. So, are we nearly there yet?” he replied in a sing song tone, letting out his childish side, just to make Lance laugh. And did Lance laugh, even snorting when he tried and failed to quote Shrek. Shiro thought it was the most adorable sight and sound despite Lance’s embarrassment. He didn't know what he was going to do with his feelings, he had already called Lance adorable but he had no idea where they stood in this friendship. Or if Lance was open to more. 

They soon reached a small quaint bookshop on the seafront, surrounded by tacky tourist shops. The outside looked inviting and the inside even more so. It was cosy and familiar but still a bookshop. A white haired woman flitted amongst the books, with the books following her? He turned to Lance who grinned widely. 

“Hey Allura!!” hr called cheerfully over to her, waving and grinning maniacally. Allura turned towards them and effortlessly negotiated the book store, the books balancing carefully in her arms. Heb was impressed by the feat itself as he saw these were not light books in the slightest. 

“‘Lura!!!!!” Lance yelled with such enthusiasm that she almost lost her books. He noticed they were astro cartography books, and decided to look around at the books. Most were leather bound and old but intriguing nonetheless. There were some newer ones but most of it seemed to be academic in nature. Not textbooks as such but full of information. He saw that the book shop seemed to go on forever. He knew the shops were deep and every available space was filled with neatly stacked books. It was cosy without being cluttered. Seats were dotted about and at tue till there were teapots and a variety of coffee beans and tea leaves.

Shiro was so lost in his own world that he didn't realise that the woman was trying to talk to him. As his attention fully turned on her, only then did he realise he was probably in the presence of a goddess. Her silvery white long hair looked cloudlike and could have easily been described as the most beautiful person on earth. But somehow that didn't quite fit, somehow he thought that that title belongs to Lance. Well in his world at least. He had no idea where that thought came from but he was oddly ok with it, more than ok if Shiro was being honest with himself. 

“So you're here about the job yeah?” she asked, her voice light and a very british accent, but clear that she hadn't been there in a while. 

“Um yeah, I was working down at Daibazaal General then well, Zarkon fired me,” he replied and knew that saying too much could hurt his chances. The woman was looking at him skeptically.

“The owner of the store will be back shortly, he has had to pick up a few things. In the meantime, sit and have something to drink. If you have haven't got anything nice to say about the fuck down at DG, come sit next to me and we can chat shit about them.” 

“Yes Ma’am” Shiro said respectfully, he was so wrapped up in his own world he hadn't caught her name.

“Call me Allura, no need to be formal. But seriously, I need to gossip,” she elongated the last words, excitement filling her features as they sat in the corner. Lance eagerly followed and allowed himself to be dragged by the excited pair to some of the winged armchairs out of sight. 

Lance launched into a spiel about what a guy called Hunk had been cooking at his work or how Pidge was building a new thing. Allura in turn went on about how her childhood friend not really knowing if he was planning something or if he was genuinely being sincere. She did like him as a friend, they had grown up after all. Their parents had fallen out and they were still rebuilding trust. 

“So, how do you know our dear Lance?” Allura asked, turning her attention to him.  
Shiro shifted uncomfortably as he answered, somehow his voice stayed steady.

“We were childhood friends, we reconnected recently after I moved back here,” he didn't want to say anymore, he didn't want to give Lance away.

“What Shiro means to say, is that we getting to know each other again, but he’s worth it. We had a lot of fun as kids and well, he doesn't really have anyone else right now…” Lance trailed off, aware that he had said more than he should. Shiro squeezed his hand in reassurance. In all honesty he did need more people in his life, he figured that Allura would also make a good friend, he might as well give it a try. 

“Yeah, my brother is currently deep in the rainforest with my friend Matt, and his sister Katie is off at uni so can only visit sporadically. Though knowing more people would never hurt,” he smiled warmly at both Lance and Allura. “I may also need a job as I’ve recently become unemployed. Lance told me that there was an opening here? Is there any forms I need to fill or anything?”

“Well, my uncle hires in a weird manner compared to most places, just be yourself when you meet him and we’ll go from there,” she stated and went back to dragging her cousin into the dirt. Apparently an old friend of theirs was coming back to town but nothing to worry about and she didn’t want to be anywhere near the explosive reunion. She liked gossip but not that much gossip.

Soon more than two hours had passed and Allura and Shiro were becoming fast friends. They were all chatting over harmless subjects, complaining how the great british bake off had become shit since leaving the bbc and mocking the british themselves. Allura took it all in her stride being british herself. He accent was made weirder when she wasn't surrounded by other british accents; apparently she wasn't even from one of the posh and more affluent areas of britain, spent a fair amount of time up north. 

There were few customers out today and they could chat in peace, that was until a loud moustached man burst in the door carrying massive books on astronomy and astrocartography. Lance and Allura were up in an instant to help him out and Shiro assumed this must be Coran. He didn't know what he was expecting of Coran but it certainly wasn't an enthusiastic New Zealander. He had been here a while and though he had noticed the book shop, he had nevr ducked in or noticed its inhabitants. 

“Hello Allura, Lance, and a face I don't know. So who are you to me?” Coran asked, and Shiro felt like this was one of the weirdest experiences of his life, especially after being shown a guy turning into a damn seal.

“Takashi Shirogane, hopeful future employee maybe?” Shiro had no idea if this would work. But after some of Lance and Allura’s crazy stories, and the fact that Coran hadn't gotten past interviews, that the friendlier and more jovial he was the more likely he was to get somewhere. 

“Good, I like him already. You know how to stack books and work a till?”

“Yes Coran and he told Zarkon to fuck off.” Lance added in gleefully, taking great pleasure and schadenfreude out of Zarkons misery. 

“No, Lance I didn’t tell him to fuck off, I said and off you must fuck because that's the only thing he's good at. Fucking up lives.”

“I need no more reasons, Allura, be a dear and take down the notice in the window. Shiro, can you start tomorrow?” 

Shiro just stood there in amazement. Sure it was probably the quickest he’d ever been hired by someone but he was in shock. “Um, ok? Do we look at paperwork then or what?”

“Now’s as good as any. If you would follow me to my office?” Coran gestured and they left Lance and Allura to their gossiping, laughing at some spectacularly shitty customers. Corans office itself was on the upper floor of the building and like the rest of the shop was cosy. Winged armchairs and shelved littered the room. Then there was the laptop and printer off at the side but all in all everything seemed to be there.

It took an hour to discuss everything. He had a decent wage he could actually live off and his work schedule was contracted with flexibility. He even had paid holiday. He could actually have a holiday too, not just wallow in self pity wishing the time away. The book store itself was then organised by category and he would be expected to help with events and know how to make killer cups of tea and coffee. All in all, it was the perfect job for Shiro. Despite his degree and experience, he wanted, craved even, something like this. Something where he could breathe and just enjoy whatever life brought him. 

Shiro didn't realise that by being employed by Conran meant becoming part of the family. They dragged him out onto the beach where ice creams were bought and a small food fight may have incurred when Allura ‘accidentally’ pushed Lance’s face into his ice cream. Lance then dragged the two of them into the surf while Coran looked after their stuff. It ended when Coran was mobbed by a flock of seagulls who wanted the sunglasses off his face. 

It wasn't long till they parted ways after they wistfully watched one particularly mean looking gull fly away with the glasses in question. Allura and Coran went back to the bookshop for tea while the other two headed down the beach. When they were out of earshot and alone, some of the curiosity that had been at the back of Shiro’s thoughts came out. 

“So, do you guys like, live in a house or follow migratory patterns or what?”

“No, Shiro. I live on a rock and definitely don't know what I need to. Hey, remember when i said we all went to school and shit and have jobs? Same applies here, like we have a house, close to the beach too, just we really love basking when we can just, reminds us of home. I was born in Cuba and lived there for a while. When I met you I had only been here for a year or so, grew up being bilingual. And no I don't migrate, I just go on sensible holidays not far from water. There is no way on earth I am going to a desert.”

Shiro started to laugh at his indignant tone, the very idea of a seal Lance in the savanna or sahara desert was absurd but adorable nonetheless. They chatted about selkie life and what would happen now.

“So, now you know I have my own place, would I still be able to stay with you for a bit?” 

“Yeah, even though today has been one of the weirdest but most exciting days of my life, I don't want to be alone. I also want to marathon disney films cos disney. I need to discuss my bi Shang theories!” Shiro replied, his voice full of hope and excitement. 

“Shang was clearly into Ping before he knew she was Mulan like?! There was an entire bi awakening on screen. Not gonna lie, kinda helped me with my bi awakening. Most people say Simba or Nala like no, you're just a furry but Shang? Shang trained an army in one song and had the muscles to prove it. Would have been so good to see him in drag though, Could have been in purple.”

“I agree with you there! And are you only friends with me cos I look like Shang? I thought we were friends!!” He said dramatically, taking full mock offense at themselves. 

“Yes, totally, my thirty year plan was to seduce you into a relationship of anysort starting at age four so I could have a man cosplay Shang and fulfill all of my deepest and darkest desires. Yes, four year old me would have loved to have been sword trained.” Lance replied dryly, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

Shiro stared incredulously as the sunlight fell on his skin. Then he laughed and the force of the laughter made him fall onto the sand when Lance refused to be a leaning post. He stopped though when he looked at Lance who looked so happy as small wrinkles around his eyes showed his happiness as his smile reached them. Suddenly two tidal waves hit him. The actual physical tidal wave that indicated that they really should get a move on. The other being so many memories that came back to him that he thought he had forgotten. 

_Lance holding his hand as they jumped into the incoming waves, wanting to fight the sea and win. Lance looking down at him as they soaked up the midday sun, joking around and making light of a bad day at school on the last day of the year. Smiling and laughing and running and swimming. Lance pushing him down into the surf, then falling on top of him, thinking that Lance was the best thing he ever saw. How much he adored his best friend. The wave that crashed over them both and how Shiro was called away. That last hug and the misery he felt as they drove away from the small seaside town. He remembered it all._

“Disney marathon at mine?” He asked, barely heard over the waves. Lance answered by pulling him up and walking in the direction of Shiro’s house. 

They arrived and put something in the microwave so they could munch on something during the films and got cosy on the sofa. Shiro opened his disney collection and immediately started on Treasure Planet. He felt like watching his favourites and hoped to ignore the giant romantic crush he now had on Lance. He wanted everything Lance would give him. Wanted to be a major part of his life and hope that he would never leave it again. 

Hercules had just started to play and he looked over to Lance, and found the blue eyes staring back at him, they shared a soft giggle and turned their attention back to the film. 

_No chance no way I won't say it, no no. This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love_ Shiro was still sorting through his memories and though he had only known Lance again for a month and a bit now, old feelings came to the mix. He couldn't be in love he couldn't. There wasn't enough time. 

_You're way off base I won't say it. Get off my case I won't say it_ But maybe it was, there was years worth of history and it wasn't as if they had nothing with it all being physical attraction. Sure Lance was good to look at, but there was more to him and he wanted all he could get, see all he could see and know Lance even more than he did know. 

_Girl don't be proud it's okay you're in love. At least out loud I won't say I'm in love.._ Oh the irony, but alas, accurate. At least out loud he wouldn't say he was in love. Not just yet. 

 

Lance noticed the weight that had fallen on his shoulder. Shiro’s head rested there, the white floof covering parts of his face. He looked relaxed and content as if he was having a particularly good dream. It did things to Lance, he wanted to stroke Shiro’s cheek and show the tender love he held in his heart for the past however many years. He moved themselves so that they were as comfy as possible on the sofa. Shiro was right, it would kill in the morning but if Shiro was comfy as he was then it was worth it. Lance had positioned him between his legs so that they could cuddle comfortably, he had one hand in Shiro’s hair and the other round his waist. He pressed a small kiss to Shiro’s forehead. 

“At least out loud, I wont say I’m in love.” He softly sang to himself as he drifted off, Shiro moving impossibly closer into him and wrapping his arms around Lance. His final conscious thought was of the amount of love he felt for Shiro and what would happen if he gave him his pelt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE WAS NO ANGST AND THIS WAS ALL FLUFF. IM PROUD OF ME. I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE THE DAY. PURE FLUFF. 
> 
> Every comment Kudo and read is appriciated but comments give me +10 years and are so loved they really do make my day. But even reading makes publishing worth it!!! <3


	5. I'm Still Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro has a family, LANGST but good langst, ANGST RESOLUTION, aaaaannnddd PLOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a time when i actually updates mroe regularly but shdgbhgasflghdsfhlsgdflhksd LIFE IS SHIT BUT IM TRYING I PROMISE but i liked writing this one even if it hurt a bit.

Shiro had not been kind in his doctors appointment when it came but it gave him results. His personality had changed, he had suffered if anything he was worse than before. He had left the appointment with tears in his eyes and was glad to see Lance standing outside waiting for him, a smile on his face and and offer of escape. It was taking him a while to become who he wanted to but it would be worth it, Keith would be home soon and spring was on the horizon. 

He knew it wouldn't last, this sad spell but having someone by his side, even as a friendship, it gave him hope and the desire to be better. Even if he couldn't quite be better for himself right now. Lance wasn't there to fix him, and Shiro wouldn't have wanted him to do that, but he would accept the help he gave and made sure to offer it back. Lance deserved to have someone there for him too. But for now the worst was over and good things were coming his way. He could feel it in every sunrise and interaction he had.

 

Time continued and Shiro felt his life get better, the new medication had settled and he hadn't felt this good in too many years. He was seeing a therapist after he basically told the doctor he was originally seeing to go suck eggs. The days passed in relative bliss. He and Coran built up a good rapport and he had a full time job where he was actually appreciated. Allura became his partner in crime and he was counting down the final few days for Keith’s return. Pidge had finished uni and was back in town and he had somehow got his hands full after she had learned he worked in a bookstore. Then the worst happened. Pidge and Allura became inseparable. Sitting there judging him. Of course, best friends don't judge each other, they just judge other people together. Well shit.

Then there was Lance, kind sweet Lance who became his best friend again, there were many days where they were just hanging and chilling. He reunited with Lance’s siblings and family and was invited to many meals at theirs. His mother had essentially adopted him on sight, and they knew that Shiro knew, it had been clear apparently when Lance asked him to get his pelt one day to save it from the tides. He felt like he had a family and he felt wanted again.

Then the blessed day of Keith’s return came and Coran had lent him his car, and the drive to the airport was quiet and minor traffic. He stood near the arrivals gates and kept an eye out for a mop of untidy hair and massive hiking gear. The plane from Miami had landed and baggage was ready. He was bouncing on his heels, he hadn't seen Keith in over a year and so much had happened, for the both of them. He was getting worried especially as he knew how Keith could be after traveling long distances. 

He saw hiking gear move past him but it was a redhead that ran to her family that was standing a few metres from him. More people moved past him to get to people and waiting cars, and Shiro saw no sign of Keith. Maybe he had the wrong time or the plane had been delayed. But then he heard a flurry of imaginative swearing as A blob of person and kit drove through the crowd. There was dirty laundry coming out of side pockets and lab equipment dangling from boxes. 

“Stupid motherfucking cockwomble of a jizz trumpet.” Ah there was the Keith he knew and loved. 

“Well if that's how you greet your brother, I’ll guess I’ll leave you here.” Shiro yelled over the throng of people drawing attention and the ire of the people surrounding him.

“I know where you live!! You won’t be free for long!!” Keith yelled back, running to meet Shiro mid way, and he was there in Shiro’s arms, physically there. He could smell the soil and dirt in his clothes but none of that mattered. 

“Nice entrance by the way? Did the howler monkeys teach you new things?”

“Yeah, to throw shit at people who annoy me, so beware.” Keith teased, his eyes alight in a way he hadn’t seen since they were kids. Keith had really found his niche and Shiro was brimming with pride. He ruffled Keith’s hair and took some of the equipment as they left the airport. 

“Dare I ask why you were out half an hour late?”

“Customs. They wanted to make sure my medication was medication like? Why? I had like three left and the stupid person wanted me to open and drink them and provide one for testing. You would have thought the taste, smell and look of it all was clearly medication but NOOOOO. Damn pku.” Keith’s rant ended with him pouting and looking like a grumpy cat. Shiro just smiled and drove to the path that lead to their house. 

As soon as they were through the door Keith dropped his stuff onto the floor and flopped onto the sofa, or at least tried to. Shiro just removed him into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He himself flopped down onto the sofa and pulled out his phone. He sent a message to Lance saying everything went ok, and for his troubles received a string of emojis. They played a game of hangman over text which Lance won until Keith emerged from the bathroom, steam following as he did so. 

“I have arrived!” He proudly announced to the world with only a towel protecting Shiro’s eyes. 

“Good now go get dressed you heathen,”

“Shiro, brother of mine and pain in my royal derriere, I have no shame. Didnt you get the memo? There’s no such thing as privacy in a rainforest, at least from howler monkeys anyway.” Keith laughed to himself, obviously remembering something.

“You wanna share with the class nerd?” 

“Nah I’m gonna make you suffer while I actually get into something that isn't expedition kit!” He smirked as he slinked off into the rafters of the house where he had made his room when they had first arrived here. 

Not long after, Keith arrived back downstairs in red fluffy pjs, it had been a joke present but Keith had near enough worn them to pieces. 

“I missed you Keith,” Shiro whispered into the space between the two of them, even if it was Keith who was talking up all the space on their sofa. 

“Shiro, I wasn’t gone that long was I? It was only 6 months, though I can see why thats a long time. There's not that much feeling of the passage of time in forests..”

“Yeah I guess. But it felt like it, a lot happened and for the most part I was alone,”

“So what changed?” Keith questioned, looking for any bit of dirt to hold over Shiro.

“A friend came back into my life, from before we adopted you, and well, things are working out? More or less anyway. I have a good job, I have people I call friends and you’re back for a bit or at least actually in the continent.” 

Keith saw how his eyes clouded over whilst lighting up simultaneously as he thought about Lance, how any form of tension eased slightly and the dopey look Shiro’s face took. Secretly he was glad that Shiro was learning to be alive again. He knew going away was hard, but he would always come back but he also needed the money from the jobs he took. Wildlife photography wasn’t exactly very lucrative. 

“So you have a crush then?” He teased enjoying watching Shiro squirm. 

“What? No? Lance is a friend I would never!!!!?”

“So his name's Lance, that's good to know” And there was that tell tale smirk that Shiro knew meant trouble. He was in hell being interrogated about feelings he really did have. 

“Shiro, it’s nice to see you happy again, he must really be something. Soooo mind if I meet him?” Keith queried, his voice litled at the end indicating the trouble he was going to cause. 

 

The last few days had been shit. Undeniably shit. He had tried to hid it, to work through it and put on a brave front. Yet there was only so much he could do. Lance had tried to be strong, but he knew that some days were worse than others and today well, it wasn't good. Definitely the worst so far and in months. He just wanted a good break down. Its fucked up I need to break to feel better, he thought to himself. It didn’t help that Marco, Luis and Veronica had all gone out of town to meet their significant others and their families, and his Mother was out too. At least Pidge was done for the year and had plonked herself in his favourite beanbag after receiving a rather scattered text.

“So,the long lost best friend you’ve been pining over since he left despite your relationships is back. You’ve helped him but what about you?”

“Pidge, it’s fine -”

“- No its not Lance, I know I can be sarcastic and a gremlin at times but, you’re family. I know when somethings wrong. You and Hunk showed me your pelts, please let me help.” Pidge pleaded. Since coming back she could see that something was eating away at her best friend, Lance had always been good at hiding everything and she had learnt to see through his bullshit. His nervous ticks were back in full force, the scratches that scattered his arms, and his chewed up lips that were usually pristine.

“Pidge ple-”

“Lance, do I need to get positivity penguin out?” Positivity penguin was a _thing_ that no one enjoyed enforcing more than Pidge, it was positive reinforcement with a penguin and for some reason it terrified people. Thankfully her threat was good enough.

“Like, so much is going on in my life. I’m stressed beyond belief and since Dad died I feel like I’m carrying everything. When he had that stroke I was the one that cared for him and kept him alive before the ambulance came.. Every hospital visit sounded like a death toll and though I’m glad he died peacefully at home but its not the same. So much responsibility and shit had been displaced and no one ever asked about me during that time, it was always Dad or Mama or whoever and never me. Then after a while Shiro came back. I felt happy and wanted. 

“Hunk was busy in the bakery, especially as he’ll be inheriting it soon, you were doing the last year or your second masters like? I didn’t want to disturb you, and when Shiro looks at me his eyes like? They’re fond and something like adoration in there? Why? I’m not worth the trouble. I spent a month alone, it was killing me Pidge, the loneliness was always there. Then we started to get close and now I feel like we’re drifting apart on my side, the harder I try to cling to the friendship the more I feel I’m taking up too much of his time. He’s got so much better and he can do so much better than me but everytime I’m with him, the way he looks at me? It breaks my heart every time.

“Pidge, he listens and he wants to help me and he has but I know that one day he’ll realise that he can be so much more without some seal dragging him back. Pidge, I think he’s my mate..”

Pidge had done her second major in world myths, many of those who resided in magic liked her and came for her specialist tech help. Apparently setting up an internet marketplace imbued with magic helped a lot of people. It was only right for her to learn about their histories. She had traveled the world and she had heard how mates were rare but revered thing. She had heard of tales of a witch who had been driven mad from her mate’s death and did their utmost to prevent mates from ever meeting.

Mates were any manner of relationship, hell there were even enemy mates whose entire life goal was to always one up the other in full on battle. It used to be rare but manageable, now it was never heard of, a myth more so than the people she worked with. After all that she had found she never thought she would hear her heart shatter into pieces. 

“Lance, he may be your mate, he may not, and if this is the Shiro I think it is, He would never leave someone that he is close to. You are never too clingy and we all know to let you know if we need a breather from contact too. Lance, there's so many reasons to love you, do you want the list chronologically or alphabetically?”

At some point Lance had curled up in a ball and was sobbing his heart out, Pidge moved closer and let him cry himself out, knowing it had been building for a while. She rocked him a bit trying to soothe him so he could breathe easier. She knew she wasn’t his Mama but she was the best little sister he never officially had, and nobody hurt Lance, not even himself. 

“Hey, how about we watch The Intern? Then whatever netflix decides to throw our way and maybe I’ll even go swimming with you - you still have my diving stuff?”

“You know for a nature hating Heathen, you seem to like spending time in it.”

“Just because I do not appreciate it trying to kill me via hayfever doesn't mean I don’t like it. Get your facts right you dork.” Lance wetly laughed as they got cosy and watched the Intern, they didn’t last long before Pidge dragged them down to the ocean and as soon as he could he put on his pelt as Pidge adjusted her scuba gear.

Lance would always have this nagging feeling, but as they passed shoals of fish a a few friendly sharks, he saw how alive he became and signed her happiness and that she was doing good. They spent a lot of time just floating above the sandy floor watching the sun rain down on them from above, Lance getting air when he needed. It was pleasant and when her air tank was getting low, the swim and decompression back up was relaxed. It was worth it to see Lance not in tears. No one messed with Lance, not even himself. 

 

Shiro had invited Lance round, it was getting ridiculous. He was falling for Lance every day, he wanted everything and more, he spent his nights awake wondering what it would feel like to have Lance next to him, not even cuddling, to be just there. Whether or not he took a tea before bed or if he was addicted to hot chocolates like Keith was. Shiro wanted to know what it felt like to have Lance help with his prosthetic everyday because he wanted to. He wanted all the love that Lance would give and he wanted to be there for his lowest moments so that he the rock that Lance clung to so he could breathe again. Oh hells, he was in deep.

He sent a message to Lance after his revelation. They arranged to meet the next day and Shiro drifted off to sleep trying to remember what it had felt like to hold Lance in his sleep. 

They were meeting in the the coffee shop near the bakery and Keith had decided to tag along, sick of Shiro’s pining. He was nervous as he was wanting to just ask, grow a pair and just ask him, the worst that would happen would be that Lance gently let him down and they’ll still be friends, he just hadn't anticipated Keith. 

The two brothers were sitting there sipping at their drinks when the door crashed open,

“You! I’d recognise that mullet anywhere!!!” A very recognisable voice yelled. 

“And you are?” Keith replied, not even flinching. They stared at each other before bursting out into laughter. Shiro was flabberghasted, what the literal fuck was this bullfuckery? Apparently his face was so telling it made the pair dissolve further into their laughter Lance holding onto the wall for support while Keith had slid onto the floor. 

“We were in the some of the same electives in our degrees, mainly basic maths and a computer science modules. He’s the guy I could never seem to beat! We became good friends after that one thing -” started Lance,

“- With Iverson?” Keith continued,

“The fucking douche canoe -”

“- Deserved that pie in the face, and -”

“- we got away with it, Pidge was so pleased with us, she’s never gonna let us live it down as we didn’t include her -”

“- if we had, it would have been worse!”

And they were off again, in fits of laughter, literally cling onto whatever was available for support. Shiro was just in a state of what the actual fucking fuck. He had not expected this, and no, oh gods above no, the blackmail the pair would have on them, he was fucked and he saw the look Keith had just sent him. The little shit knew how far down the rabbit hole he really was and that there was no coming back. 

“Lance, I need to do some photo editing, enjoy your time with Shiro, smell you later!” He waved as he left leaving Shiro and Lance staring at the spot he had just left. Shiro knew he just wanted to ask, he had been watching Lance a bit more closely, the small looks, how he held himself when he got near, how he couldn't miss the way Lance melted at touch that Shiro seemingly graced him with. It was a leap of faith on his part. He wanted to do it. But it had to be just right. 

They chatted and Lance had told him of the chat he had with Pidge, who they both seemingly knew - it was a small world afterall, and oh, how his heart ached. He wanted to wrap him up in his arms and never let him go. Shiro felt like he was always being drawn back to this little town and back to the wonderful man he sat next to. He spoke comforting words of reassurance, making sure he said as much as he could without overwhelming Lance. 

They took a walk around the beach and sat on their spot on the rocks. The sun was setting on the horizon and it reminded him of the first time Lance had approached him when he returned. But it had highlighted the slight differences in his appearance. His lips, the remains of scratch marks and the small way he hid himself. He couldn't stand it. He wanted a radiant smile back on Lance’s face. He wanted to see it full of joy and love, love for him. Fuck it, it was time. 

“Lance, I um, I like you a lot. Like a stupid amount, and you don't have to do anything but I wanted to tell you. You deserve to know, and I um, I hope it doesnt change anything between us.”

“That makes it easier then,” and Lance cupped Shiro’s face bringing him closer, and how Shiro was lost in those eyes. He barely registered when they closed and Lance was drawing ever nearer, letting Shiro back out if he wanted, but he didn't, he moved closer and pulled Lance’s body nearer so he could properly hold Lance. He held Lance close and their lips finally met. It wasn’t what Shiro had imagined late at night. He could still feel where skin had been torn away and where patches of skin were hard from hardened skin, and there was a faint taste of blood from one of the raw areas, but it was soft and pure and not perfect.

There was barely any heat as they gently kissed. When they pulled apart he looked at Lance who was blushing furiously. Their kiss had been quite chaste compared to what the movies said. But it felt like he had found home. He had tested pure happiness and Lance was still the most radiant being on the Earth. 

“Um, you felt that too?” He asked not expecting the result he got in return.

“I was right, you’re my soulmate,” Lance replied softly, not knowing how to say it, to admit that outloud without being an arse. 

“We can talk about that later, how about we just go back to mine, have some hot chocolate with Keith and chat shit about people? We can figure it out later, and if you want to stay, well, my bed can take the two of us,” Shiro smiled, and damn he felt on top of the world, maybe he would know some of the shenanigans Keith and Lance got up to, and wake to find Lance curled around him or even worse, being pushed on the floor in his sleep. But he wanted to know. 

They took two steps forward into the gathering night, and though Shiro had always felt the darkness be a source of comfort, he felt the energy of the night buzzing around him, coming alive at their presence. Always that pure darkness when he wanted it. It was alive and it was his safety, where only he existed. Now Lance would join him and he couldn’t be happier. He had however passed any misgivings from this off years ago but he felt it more than ever with Lance by his side. 

That night was indeed spent chatting shit about lecturers, reminiscing and blackmail being revealed. Keith gave himself a small smile watching Shiro and Lance be happy together, they both deserved it. Lance curled into Shiro and they fell asleep in eachothers arms when they had retired to Shiro’s room. They had much to discuss but allowed themselves the tiny amount off bliss they got. None the wiser to the presence that was watching them. 

 

A cat slunk off into the horizon where the sun met the land, a flash of purple and gold light and the cat was gone, back to its mistress. Happy that it had collected enough information. It was glad to be home and away from the big wet, it hissed its disgust as it was picked up and stroked. Another thing it also hated. 

“Well Kova, it seems we may have some fun again, just a shame I couldn’t get to the Blue boy first, it would have been fun to see that love turn to hatred for everyone and the world. The tall one has even more. Well there’s still time, my sweet. There’s still time. What fun we’ll have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every read, Kudo and comment mean so much and like add 10 years to my life and make me smile for the day honestly. you guys are amazing <3


	6. Meet The Family They Said.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro meets the family. Officially.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a short one, I'm sorry. I've written 50k for an event in 2.5 weeks and then this. I need some time to work out the plot bc I've decided to change some things. BUT I wanted to update because this is cute.

The weeks were passing in bliss, Lance had mostly been round his, just enjoying time with Shiro and when he was around, Keith too. In return, Hunk had been intorduced to Shiro and he was glad he got the approval from his best friend, they had yet to meet Lance’s family formally, as boyfriends. So here they were walking down the street with a bunch of flowers on one hand, and a dessert Shiro and Lance had baked together. 

“Hey, at least you’ve met them before! Either way they’ll love you, they’ll probably get the baby phots out but eehhhh, it cant be that bad.”

“What you as a seal pup? Hell I’d pay to see that, youre a cute seal already.” Teased Shiro but Lance’s face drained of colour because hell, his parents did do that. They mercifully didmt have the naked bath photos, they just had the first swim and first transformations so yes, there were many many photos of him as a baby seal. They werent exactly flatrering either. 

Shiro’s eyes lit up mischievously, “So, When am I meeting your mother?”

“Never, you Villian! Fuck off, off you must fuck!”

“But wheres the fun in that? Who will tease you then?”

“I have Hunk, and my siblings. Oh shit. I’m dead. Please know that your the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and remember me fondly,” He mock fainted and fanned himself as he was caught in Shiro’s arms. 

“You numbnut,” he said fondly, plassing a kiss on his cheek, then went for Lance’s sides and mercilessly tickled him. They were drawing looks down the quiet street but if his memory served him correctly, the Ramirez ffamily were a whole other level. 

“Ok, ok! I give! Hell, Shiro, people are looking!”

“Let them look, they need to know how amazing you are,” Shiro smiled at Lance’s blush, he loved making Lance smile, making Lance know that he was loved, and that he was one of the first people Lance turned to. 

“Shiro, who gave you the right to be so great?” 

Shiro just smiled and reached for Lance’s hand and held it tightly, knowing that this was probably one of the best feelings in the world. The remainder of the walk passed with out much ceremony, just two dorks who didnt see how in love they were with each other. 

“You ready?” Lance asked, “You can back out now if you want, I wouldn’t object, I know my family can be a bit much.”

“I want to, besides, whats the worst that could happen?” Shiro replied cheerily. 

Thankfully not much. 

Lance’s mother had opened the door when they had knocked and Shiro was immedietly swept into a hug, and Shiro relished the contact and was more than happy to hug back. 

“Mrs Ramirez, a pleasure to see you again,” he said as they let go. 

“Nonsense, only when I’m in trouble am I Mrs Ramirez, call me Maria dear. I was wondering when you would come back and see us, especially after Lance couldnt stop talking about you, Shiro this, Shiro that! Every sunday, Lance couldnt stop talking about you. It’s adorable really.”

Lance turned a deep shade of red and shifted from foot to foot nervously. That was a surprise but a welcome one, so Shiro laid an arm around Lance’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug as they enetered the house. After all, he was here for the famous Ramirez Sunday Lunches. 

The inside of the house was full of photos, Lance and his siblings as well as some their kids. Everyone in the Ramirez family was in at least two photos, it was like walking into a physical representation of the love that the Ramirez exuded with their very being. 

It wasnt long before Shiro was jumped by Veronica, who of all things, wanted to know what eyeliner he used. He couldnt help but laugh and he felt comfortable in the conversation that followed. Marco and Luis joined in, catching up with the man that Lance had been going on about. They all ended up lounging over the furniture, an eye roll from Maria, chatting about their lives, everything and anything went. 

The smell of cooking floated through the house and Shiro swore he had never smelt food that good, the spices and the whole feeling of being home. He took a look at Lance, who was laughing and playing with one of his neices, allowing his hair to be messed with and Shiro realised how utterly smitten he was. He hadnt really every felt like this in any of his previous relationships, so open and free and the trust that was laid bare between them. Gods how he loved Lance, he really loved him, and he didnt care who knew - just as long as Lance knew it. 

He must have been caught staring as Lance looked to him, five year old dangling from his arm. 

“I love you so much Lance, just everything. Everything is better with you in it.” Tears formed in Lance’s eyes and moved into a hug and a kiss, well, as much as he could with a kid hanging off of him with a look of wide eyed wonder.

“Tio? You love Shi.. Shir.. Shi-ro like Papa loves Mama?” Isabella asked, and smiling down at her Lance replied. 

“Yes, I love him like your Papa loves your Mama.” He returned his gaze to Shiro and Shiro just got lost in it, breathing in Lance and all that he was. They both failed to realise that Isabella had left and was currently yelling their news across the house. 

“Mama! Tio had a boyfriend!! Is he my Tio now too?” 

“Well, not the way we planned but its ok,”

“You seem remarkably unphased by this, dare I ask how?”

“So Veronica was staring at Allura for ages when she was round one day, let out a really _really_ bad pickup line and realised what she had said. Theyre best friends now actually, but Veronica came out before I did. Hell, she wingmaned Allura to get her with Romelle. All three are disaster gays and actual proof that lesbians are useless with flirting, but always down to fight those who give hell to people they care about.”

Shiro nodded, he had seen Allura yell down a customer after they had said something derogatory about Shiro. He never wanted to be on the wrong side of Allura’s wrath. Their peaceful moment didnt last long as Lance’s siblings rushed into the living room to start cooing and tease them. 

It didnt get better at the dinner table. Maria and Jamie started to ask questions. Just how they got together and how they were going. Maria then declared that he was officially family, not to be question and practically shoved food in Shiro’s direction saying he looked like he hadnt had enough to eat. 

They talked well into the evening. Shiro had forgotten what this felt like, especially since his parents had died. It left an ache in his heart, wanting his parents to be here with him, so he could formally introduce them to Lance, whether or not they would do the same. It was bittersweet, but he was in a new chapter of his life and he was going to make the most of it. 

“We were sorry to hear the death of your parents, Yuki was such a master at light bending, you two used to love it at the house when Yuki was practicing. Lance may not remember it well, but I remember his amazement like it was yesterday. She was so sure you would inherit it, Hiroshi wanted you to be a light bender too, all he could do was make the perfect cup of tea every time, not as obvious but damn good one someone needed comforting.”

Shiro was is shock, he had never known this, no one had told him and he had never seen it. He had thought they just had some wird lighting that caused some issues. 

“Um, not to be rude but what?”

“Oh, you didnt know?” Maria looked horrified, like she had overstepped her bounds. 

“No. I didnt. I thought, I.” Shiro just couldnt form the words. The hug Maria embraced him with was even more unexpected. 

“I’m so sorry, you didnt deserve that, I just thought, you seemed to glow a bit, or something, it just reminded me of Yuki. She was always so bright.”

“It explains why my room always has the perfect amount of darkness I guess. I think I need some time, but thank you, I mean it,” Shiro replied. 

“Youre always welcome, hell, we are all selkies anyway and Lance’s friend even helps us with out our shit.You dont have to do anything, just do what you want, we will all be here if you want to talk about anything.” Shiro felt small tears appear in his eyes. The acceptance, the feeling of belonging, he’d have to introduce Keith to them. 

“Hey Shiro, do you want to go home?” Lance asked, his voice soft. 

“Nah, I’d like to stay a bit. Maria? Do you have any of those baby photos of Lance?”

Maria visibly brightenened up and gave them a mischevious look then booked it out the room as Lance started to protest and ran after her. 

“As much as he protests, Lance loves the attention,” Luis said after the two of them had left the room. 

“I know, but it’s adorable. Also its a nice distraction, but more importantly,” Shiro replied, trying to keep on top of the anxiety and questions that was filling his head, “Blackmail.”

“I like him, we need more. Better than Sofia who got secondhand embarrassment.”

Luis then smacked Marco, “No one but me gets to insult my wife and I only do it with her permission!” 

They had all forgotten that the rest of the family was looking at them, with a very confused five year old. 

Long story short, baby Lance was adorable, both as a kid and a little seal. He still had the same look of mischief, though he was surprised to see some of him in there, namely one of him and his parents at a birthday party, with his mother doing something with light. Shiro found he wasnt as bothered about it, like maybe deep down he already knew but didnt want to acknowledge it, wanting to live the way he wanted to. But it was nice to see it nonetheless.

Lance was pouting the entire time and Shiro found him utterly adorable, bringing him into a hug as he and Maria cooed over some photos that Lance was absolutely mortified by, hiding his face in the crook of Shiro’s shoulder. Apparently there were birthday suit photos after all. 

The evening ended on a pleasant note, a few hugs and basically being adopted into the family, it was like they knew their relationship was going to happen after all. Though, Shiro was so drawn to Lance he wouldnt have minded. He loved Lance and that was all that mattered. 

That night in Shiro’s bed and curled up into each other, he realised that if he focused on the dark, he could get it to that perfect level, where he could see Lance but the rest was just black. He breathed in the smell of Lance’s shampoo and looked at the man in his arms, who looked back with the same love stricken face he probably had on his own face. 

“If we are mates, theres no one I would rather be with,”

“Shiro, you numbnut, thats the whole point, but I’m glad it was you. I love you so much,”

They couldnt seem to stop saying it, the reaffirmation that despite the rocky road they were facing it was worth it. Shiro’s therapy was hard but he was learning to overcome it, and he was there for Lance on his bad days, when his insecurities got the better of him, when he needed to hear that he wasnt going to leave him, that he was wanted and loved. 

The darkness covered them like a blanket and sleep over came them both.

__

_They were driving slowly as they descended the mountain after a hike, Shiro had Keith asleep on his shoulder after a long day hiking. The rain was falling gently but they didnt want to take the risk,it was only just dusk and they would be at the foot of the mountain once true darkness fell. His mother turned round from the passenger seat with a smile on her face looking at her two boys, their parents always made sure to know they were wanted and loved. That nothing could change it._

_She turned back and started to softly hum. But something wasnt right, a flash of lightning and a hooded figure appeared int he road, golden eyes glowing int he darkness of the hood. A flash of lightning and the car was sent spinning and it crashed into the mountain wall itself. The sickening crunch and not enough time to scream, but more than enough for Shiro to cover Keithand make sure that he lived._

_Feeling Keith wake up and his cried, knowing that he was alive was thee last thing he rememberd as he passed out._

__

Shiro woke up screeming and light flooded the room, even brighter than his lamps could make it. Lance was at his side trying to calm him down, he breathed shallowly trying to focus on the sounds Lance’s voice was making. He tried to name the things he was seeing, a duvet, a sheet and someone who meant the world to him. He named the sounds his breathing, Lance’s voice, that sweet sound. He looked at Lance and collapsed in on himself and allowed him to be hugged, a hand ran through his hair and wiped his tears. 

“Someone killed them, someone murdered my parents,” Shiro sobbed. Lance dint need to respond just yet, the silence was ok and the darkness started to creep up on them as Shiro calmed down and sleep started to re claim him, the soothing feeling of fingers detangling the knots in his hair.


	7. You Can Have My Heart.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Shiro deal with the new information, and then relax at long last.

“We need to talk with your parents. This, this is something, it was magic.” Shiro was struggling to form words. He curled in a bit on himself, his head on Lance’s lap. 

“Shiro,” Lance’s voice was so soft as he spoke, and let his hands run through Shiro’s hair. Memories were flooding through his brain, and it hurt remembering his real childhood not the fragments he used to have. He remembered everything. 

“Can I just stay here for a while? I need time I think.”

“As long as you need, do you want me to make an appointment with your therapist?” Lance asked and Shiro nodded, hoping lance could feel it. He didn’t want to speak. He was reeling from the fact that someone had intentionally killed his parents, everything he knew was a lie. What was he going to tell Keith? Were they ever going to tell them? Did Keith have a memory block too? This was worse than when Lance had shown him his skin. 

Everything he had known was a lie. He refused to go back down the path he had trodden before.

“Shiro? Shiro? You here with me hun?” Lance was asking, gently tapping his shoulder. 

“I think?” Shiro replied, half aware. “ I’m just? I dont think I’m processing it,”

“Mind if I call Mama over?”

“Yeah. If you want.” He felt Lance shift underneath him reaching for the phone and was dimly aware of Lance speaking with Maria. He knew he was being laid down by Lance and started to feel the darkness he sought and folded it in on himself, embracing the comforting darkness. 

It was nice in the dark, nothing to see, just his heartbeat, that was the same as the gentle pulsations of the blanket of dark that covered him. He started to breathe more evenly and could feel everything start to slow down in his mind and speed up as he processed everything around him. The feel of cushions and their textures. The smell of tea brewing a little ways off. The soft foot falls of Lance moving about. 

He slowly let the darkness fade as he became more receptive of the world around him, until the dark was gone. Lance came over to him and handed him one of the mugs and allowed the vanilla aroma to consume him and took gentle sips. 

“Mama will be here soon, I asked her to text me rather than use the doorbell,” Lance said as they leaned into each other. Lance had his tablet rested on his lap and played some of the acoustic versions of songs they liked as they processed the new revelation. 

A soft buzz alerted Lance to his mother's presence and he went to open the door. Maria immediately went to Shiro, her arms offering a hug, one that Shiro melted into the moment he accepted it. 

“Shiro, its ok, we will make it ok.you feel ok to talk about it?” Maria asked. 

“After yesterday, I think something unlocked. Like I remember everything now, but especially what happened that night my parents died. They were murdered. There was this.. Figure. They shot lightning at the car and caused it to roll into the cliff side, crushing them. I managed to get Keith out but I.. I thought I’d lost my memory from it the way everyone had explained it, my brain protecting me. But I lost everything. It feels magical. I remember Mum talking to me, showing me her light and darkness, Dad showing me how to make the perfect tea. I remember everything.” 

Silence filled the room as they tried to understand the full complexity of what Shiro had said. 

“I think, this is bigger than what it first seemed. There’s only one person with that much power, one person who most people think is behind soulmates no longer finding each other. She feeds of misery and pain, it fuels her powers. Shiro, I’m so sorry,” Maria explained. Shiro’s blood ran cold and he stilled. He didn’t know whether to be angry or some other emotion. 

“Is there anything I can do? How did I break this memory lock? What can I do?” he was sharing with the strength of emotions that coursed through his veins. Adrenaline was taking over and he just couldn’t sit still. He was a mess of emotions and he pulled the darkness back in, he was vaguely aware of the yelps of surprise, because this wasn’t the comforting darkness. It was the darkness that makes a person scared of the dark. Scared of what is in the dark. The fear, the fury the hatred and the unbridled rage of the night. 

It was of course the moment that Keith decided to enter the house. 

“Hey Shiro I-” Keith’s voice died out when he saw the rooms being consumed by a darkness with Lance and his mother stock still while that darkness radiated off of Shiro in waves. 

“Shiro,” Keith put simply, “Stop this now. Please. We need to talk, but I can’t do that until you calm down. Remember when we first met? Yeah, remember that, remember that the first thing you did was make me laugh, and promise that you’d always be there for me and I said the same for you.” The room started to return to normal, “Yeah, theys it Shiro, you’re almost there, patience yields focus, remember that?” Shiro nodded and tried to control the darkness like his mother had taught him and the breathing his father had. He breathed in and released the final threads of night that he had summoned.

“Keith? Why are you here? Not that I’m not happy to see you. Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Keith,” Shiro was fumbling his words again. How much could he embarrass himself in one day? What was it with the universe and causing him so much pain. 

“Look, something happened and I remembered things from our time with Yuki and Hiroshi, things I thought I had forgotten and a crucial part of me. That I can make and control fire, why you used to call me Zuko. How I learnt to control it. I remember some of the crash but not all of it. I know I had blacked out but I know the truth.”

Keith then looked to Lance who was staring back at him. 

“Wait -” Lance started

“What-” Keith said at the same time, both with looks of confusion and fear in their faces. 

“Keith, We’re selkies, we’ve lived here for a while now. You don’t have to worry. I think we should go somewhere to sort this out. I have the feeling it’s just the start.” Maria interjected, sensing that something could kick off. 

Shiro decided to leave the room to make more tea. The other option was alcohol but he felt like it wasn’t going to lead to anywhere good. He hoped something could be done, he was finally starting to be happy. He had a job he loved, he had friends and his brother was back. He wasn’t surprised that the universe, or more specifically, this person had it out for him. Apparently peace and happiness was too much to ask for. 

Shiro shook himself out of that thinking. That thinking only lead down roads he refused to walk. They would figure this out, and they would then be happy. Maybe a date would be nice, allow them to relax. 

The tea had finished brewing and he refilled the empty mugs and handed one to Keith. The three people were staring and not talking, not knowing what to say or do. 

“So, what are we going to do?” Shiro asked, he hated doing nothing if something could be done. 

“I guess we could ask Pidge?” Lance said, “Let her get her feelers out to see if there’s anything, soulmates were rare before, now they’re practically extinct. There must be something connecting this. This can’t be a one off thing. Mama, did Yuki or Hiroshi say anything to you?”

“Only that Yuki’s gifts were extremely rare and that they were not to be used for anything bad. Its dark magic. Very dark magic, to be able to manipulate the dark like that. They were known as night-mancers. Shiro, we saw what happened earlier, that was what Yuki feared, the dark. She said understand what she meant. Your parents loved you so much, please know that. They would want you to be happy and in control. We will sort this, I promise. We’ll contact Pidge immediately,” Maria explained.

“Pidge knows about all this?” Keith asked, “I’m so confused. I need a nap.” He wondered up into his loft space and the soft thud of his body hitting the mattress signified how done he was. 

“I can contact Pidge if you want dear?” Lance nodded as his mother took her leave. 

“Ugh Rachel is gonna be so pissed at me. I just had to one up her coming home!” 

“She never did let you forget her being older by five minutes did she?” Teased Shiro.

“No.” Came the reply, with pouty face and a look Shiro couldn’t help but find adorable. He pressed a kiss to Lance’s forehead and pulled him up. He dragged Lance to the door like an excited puppy. He wanted to do something nice and fun. Get away from all this. 

“Hey! Let me get my jacket!” Lance protested and lightly detached himself from Shiro’s embrace. He looked over at the few hooks that hung the coats. He pulled off his jacket and from his bag, he pulled out his pelt and hung it on the hook. It looked good there, he felt at home and he was right all those years ago. Shiro would be the one to have his pelt, he wouldn’t be like the humans who had stolen them and bound selkies to the land. He smiled as he walked through the door. 

 

Shiro seemed happy to surprise Lance, not that he minded. Any time with Shiro was good. Even if what had happened earlier was terrifying and worrisome. Lance had a sinking feeling it would only get worse, that this happiness was only temporary. He easily got lost in his head, seeing the bad, assuming the worst and fighting it was exhausting, despite how happy he was feeling now, it quickly changed.

He didn’t know how the new revelations were sitting on him, he thought he had left all the shit behind, that he was allowed to be happy. To enjoy what he had and finding Shiro had been the icing on the cake, what they had was so good and precious. He didn’t want this, the pain from elsewhere, Shiro deserved more than this pain. It was probably best to stop before they both got hurt. Stop now before anything really happened. 

Lance let himself be walked down the path through the nearby woods. Instead of turning into the town they turned off into the woods, the birds were singing, a gentle breeze and the muted rush of water all around. Shiro was holding his hand pressing forwards, looking back every so often and seeing the most blinding smile, full of love and happiness and a giddy eagerness. 

Lance was able to get a good look at Shiro, and he felt the love - the full want and adoration bloom. Though, he felt the pain and the hurt, the uncertainty and the weight of his thoughts pressing whatever happy feeling he had into nothing. He loved Shiro, he really did, and because of that, he would have to stop before the pain would kill him. As if sensing something, Shiro stopped and turned to face Lance. 

“Sweetheart? Are you ok? Is it about earlier? I promise we’ll make it work, make it right. We will have our happy ending,”

“How can you say that? How can you say that and mean it? Haggar died and is somehow back? We can’t fight that? I just wanted to be happy, to be happy with you! Everything good in my life ended or left, even in my family. I just want to be happy. Was that too much to ask for?” Lance said into the small space between them. Shiro pulled him into a hug at some point. 

“You’re worth fighting for. I want you to know that. I want you to be happy, be part of the reason. I know we both have our issues, but I can’t help if I don’t always know. Please, the moment you start to listen to the voice that tells you all the negative stuff we fight so hard to beat everyday you tell me. When you get exhausted fighting it on the lowest days you tell me because I will always have your back and fight with you and for you. When you ever want to talk or need space or whatever, please tell me so I can help in whatever way you need. I promise to do the same. Lance, please. I need you so much.” Shiro replied softly, the emotion raw and Lance melted into him. 

“Lance, please keep following me?” Shiro asked. 

“Always, now and forever.” Lance breathed and Shiro’s smile almost broke him. He was dragged onwards, barely keeping up with Shiro who was starting to run. Lance was laughing as they went, the enthusiasm was contagious. The din of crashing water ricocheted in the woods as the waterfall came into sight. Waterfalls were never found close to the coast, but here was one of the few exceptions. Despite living here for years, he had never seen this place as it was on private land. He looked to Shiro who was grinning like the cat who got the cream. Or well, Lance. 

Shiro reached for his shirt and pulled it off, the sweat from the run glistening on his skin in the morning sun. He then stripped off to his underwear and fell into the cool water of the pool underneath the waterfall. The waterfall itself was spectacular, and a rainbow over the water, falling over the rocks and could have came out of a book. But it was nothing in comparison to Shiro in the water. 

Lance stripped to his boxers as well and dived in literally swimming circles around Shiro who was trying to catch him, catching each other with foolish grins underwater, or sweet tender kisses as they tread water and allowed themselves to drift onwards. Being underwater changed everything, Shiro’s hair was getting long, long enough to be in a ponytail and floating in the flow of the water, he looked ethereal. The sunlight danced on his skin and cast shadows on them too. The scars weren’t as visible and he finally knew what it was to be loved. The be the person someone finally ran after, who chose to fight with him rather than decide he was too much hassle and wasn’t worth the fight. 

When they finally got out of the water, Shiro lay back on the small sandy bank allowing himself to dry in the midday sun. well that was the plan before Lance lay on top of him and snaked his arms around Shiro’s body. Lance started placing kisses everywhere he could and tried to get his boyfriends attention. Despite all efforts to the contrary, Shiro gave in to the kisses and caught Lances lips with his own and Lance hummed appreciatively. It was a promise to stay, to fight and to hold and to love. 

When Lance opened his eyes after they parted, he saw into the gunmetal grey eyes and saw how true Shiro’s words and feelings were and he couldn’t help himself.

“I love you.” Those three little words he had finally come to acknowledge and accept. Lance saw those eyes soften and the pupils dilate. A hand came to brush hair out of Lance’s face and he leaned into the touch, loving the feel of calloused hand against his skin. He loved Shiro, all his faults included and he started to feel the hope. The dangerous feeling of hope that they would survive and be happy. Hope was dangerous and fickle but Lance, like Shiro, would fight and do so together. 

“I love you too, Lance. So so much.” Lance didn’t get a chance to reply before Shiro flipped them, he felt sand stick to his back but didn’t care, because Shiro was kissing him like his life depended on it, and every emotion was laid bare. Light was blinding him from behind his eyelids and he knew Shiro was glowing with happiness. If only Lance could do the same, then they really would be the brightest thing on Earth. 

“Should we finish this at home?” Shiro asked breathlessly, the look of wonder and adoration still on his face. 

“I think so yeah.” 

The walk back was pleasant and they talked. Lance shared how he was feeling about everything. His worries and anxieties and Shiro did the same. They wanted to work for this, the happiness. There were kisses and hug and were glad that they were technically on Shiro’s land as they were into so deep PDA. 

Soon enough the house was in sight and then the door closed behind them. Lance watched as Shiro turned to hang something up and saw Lance’s pelt.

“Lance? Is this what I think it it?” Lance nodded, embarrassed but not regretting the decision at all. 

“Lance, bed, now.” Shiro almost growled, and then squeaked at the yell of distress a traumatised Keith had made. 

“Not while I’m here. Oh my god, you would thats it im out. Don’t make me burn things Shiro!” Keith yelled as he booked it out the house. Lance giggled as the door slammed shut and teased Shiro in both respects as he fell onto the bed. Shiro fell on top of him and Lance couldn’t contain his love. He leaned upwards and drew Shiro down, kissing as much as he could, as if he couldn’t ever stop. 

“I knew it would be you who I gave my pelt to, ever since we were kids, it’s only ever been you,” Lance confessed and his face heated up and he was sure the blush was obvious. Shiro caressed his face and moved away some of the stray strands of hair. He was graced with the full force of Shiro’s love and Lance knew it was real. It was probably best that Keith had left the house earlier. 

 

Haggar hadn’t risen from the dead for nothing, she hadn’t risen for one of her favourite play things to be happy. His pain and anguish had fueled her for years, she had personally seen to it! And now they dared to challenge her? She had the element of surprise and oh, how glorious the pain and fear and hurt would be once one of them died. So delicious and she would really have it all her own way. Dark magic raised her because her husband couldn’t bear to be without her, and like everything about dark magic used with ill intent, something didn’t come back with her. Haggar started to plan, after all if she didn’t have her happy ending, nor would anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always comments and Kudo's are so loved. 
> 
> Extra note. Im gonna stop writing. Im gonna finish this fic and the one for the big bang i got involved in. I just? Im so insecure about my writing now and even though i know i dont need validation its nice to have it. Theres so much i want to say but i dont want to be a moaning bitch desperate for attention. Ive enjoyed posting and writing but it no longer makes me happy sharing them. The lack of feed back is a main reason and im not saying this to garner more comments, I'm just sick of putting my hopes up. Im so so sorry about this. One day i may post again but not anytime soon for new fics.

**Author's Note:**

> [ Yell at me on tumblr!!!!!](https://thashadowsandsilhouettes.tumblr.com)


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